“Heaven is a sweet, maple syrup kiss and a thousand other little things I miss with her gone”
…from “Heaven is the Face”
It’s the little moments in life that are often the most
defining---a sticky kiss from a child, a shared prayer, an embrace from
an old friend. For more than two decades, Steven Curtis Chapman has
celebrated life’s most precious moments in song. The joys and
challenges of daily existence reverberate throughout Steven’s music and
his songs have become the soundtrack of life for believers everywhere.
For Steven, life and music have always been inextricably intertwined.
So in the aftermath of unspeakable tragedy—the death of his
five-year-old daughter Maria—Steven did what all songwriters do, he
poured the torrent of emotion into his music.
The result is “Beauty Will Rise,” a stunning body of work inspired
by a circumstance no father should ever have to endure. Steven is
unflinchingly honest in his exploration of grief and loss. He asks the
questions we all ask when horrible things happen to the innocent, yet
throughout the album hope shimmers, faith becomes more real and even
more precious, and the peace that surpasses understanding leaps from
the page and becomes palpable.
“It is weird for me to even call
this a record because it is just my personal psalms from this journey
that we have been on,” says Steven. “After we lost Maria, I did not
know if I would ever write anymore songs or if I would ever sing again.
The last thing I wanted to do is turn any of this into a song. Then you
realize ‘God, this is what has happened to us and now what would You
have me to do with it?’ Slowly songs began to just come out as ways for
me to try to process what I was thinking and feeling and what my family
and I were walking through.”
Knowing that things would never be the
same, Steven and his family began navigating what they’ve come to refer
to as the “new normal.” In doing so, Steven began writing once again.
“The first song was ‘Just Have To Wait’ and I think the next one was
‘Questions.’ They were all just songs that were literally praying and
wrestling with God and asking, ‘What am I going to do with this? What
do I really believe now? How are my family and I going to journey
through this and walk through the rest of life with these holes in our
hearts? What is that going to look like?’” Steven says quietly. “Music
has just always been one of the ways that I have processed whatever is
going on. These songs were just my wrestling through it and being as
honest as I could possibly be about that process. That is where these
songs came from.”??
I can’t wait to see your sisters play
The way they do when all of you are playing all together?
And I can’t to wait to watch your brother’s face?
When he can finally see with his own eyes
That everything’s okay?
…from “Just Have to Wait”
In the months that followed the accident, the songs began pouring
out and Steven says a Christmas gift from his wife, Mary Beth,
encouraged him to share their story. “My wife gave me a journal. She
had found a website where you could send pictures and they engraved
jewelry and other things. She made necklaces and different things for
all of us in the family that had pictures of Maria,” Steven says.
“There was a picture of Maria on the little button that closes the
journal. She gave me that and inside she wrote a note saying ‘I know
you have so many things to say. I know that you have things that you
are writing and I know you are waiting in a way for me to release you
to share those because it is so deeply personal.’ So when I got this
journal, she said, ‘You fill this with your thoughts and our songs. I
know that you are going to share this and God is going to use this to
minister and heal and comfort many other people.’ I think it was at
that point that I felt released to begin sharing.”
Though he wishes he’d never had to write any of these songs, Steven
says he’s gleaned a measure of peace knowing they may help heal others.
“If there is comfort to be given to others then that is going to make
some sense out of this; that is important and vital to us. Part of what
makes this survivable is that we can see God using it for good in the
lives of other people,” Steven says. “Obviously there is a part of me
that would have never had chosen to write a song called ‘Just Have To
Wait’ or ‘Heaven is the Face’ or any of those, but the decision to do
it was not really a decision to write them, it was a decision to share
them with people.”
Once the decision was made to share these songs, Steven began
recording them in a way unlike any other album he’d ever made. “I am
so prone to try to please everybody--radio guys, A&R guys and
management,” Steven says, noting that on previous albums he invited
feedback from the team around him. However on this project the personal
nature made Steven reluctant to have anyone else speak into the
process. “For better or worse, it just had to come straight out of my
gut. I cannot make it pretty. I cannot try to conform it to anything.
It has just got to be whatever comes out. So I sort of put my fingers
in my ears in a way that I have never done before as far as anybody
speaking into the process.”
He did, however, enlist bassist/producer
Brent Milligan to work with him in recording the songs. “He went on
stage with me in July, that first night I returned to performing after
the accident, and walked through the journey with me--the pain of just
trying to decide if I should even be singing anymore or if I should
begin to write some of these songs,” recalls Steven. “I went to him and
said. ‘I need somebody to help me record these songs and I feel like
you are the guy that could help me capture them.’”
Much of the album was recorded on the road during The United Tour
with Michael W. Smith. “We went in and did the recording and put it
together just as honestly as we could,” Steven says. “A good half of
it--if not more than half--was recorded in dressing rooms on the United
Tour with Michael W. or in hotel rooms or wherever we might be. We
would set up a little make shift recording studio and record. I just
kept thinking ‘I don’t know what this is going to sound like and how is
this going to measure up to what I think are some sonic masterpieces
that [producers] Brown Banister and Phil Naish have helped me to create
over the years. This is just raw.”
Despite Steven’s concerns “Beauty Will Rise” is a beautiful,
multi-textured aural tapestry. The production is gentle and
understated, laced with the melancholy sounds of a cello and earnest,
earthy guitars. Each instrument perfectly underscores the emotion in
Steven’s delivery. He’s always been a compelling vocalist, but never
has he been more transparent, more vulnerable and achingly honest than
on this poignant collection.
Who are You God?
Cause You are turning out to be so much different than I imagined
And where are You God??
Cause I am finding life to be so much harder than I had planned
You know that I’m afraid to ask these questions
But You know they are there?
And if You know my heart the way that I believe You do
You know that I believe in You
But still I have these questions?
…from “Questions”
These songs became Steven’s own personal psalms. Yet as he wrestled
with the heartbreak and loss, his faith remained, somewhat bruised, but
never broken. The title track, “Beauty Will Rise,” is testament to that
faith. “That song expresses the hope that we have that has allowed me
to share this music and this whole recording with people,” Steven says.
“Part of the process of doing this is to see God bring beauty out of
the ashes and begin to see the comfort in other people that can come
from this. One of the unique things about my grieving process was how
connected to the earthquake in China I felt. We had been to China and,
in fact, were sitting in the Shanghai Airport when the earthquake hit.
Immediately we began to pray for the people of China. I remember
telling Maria, Stevey Joy and Shaohannah ‘we really need to pray for
these people and the families.’ Then on May 21st, we really feel like
as a family that is when the earthquake hit us. Even within hours of
Maria going to heaven, I heard myself praying for the people of China
because all of the sudden I could pray for them in a new way. I could
pray for the people who lost their Chinese sons and daughters because I
knew their pain now. ‘Beauty Will Rise’ was written very much with me
identifying with the pain of those people.”
Steven and Mary Beth’s bonds with the Chinese people continue to grow.
Named in honor of their daughter, Maria’s Big House of Hope was built
in Luoyang, China. The six-story facility is equipped to provide care
for special needs orphans. Steven also recently performed a concert in
China and the photo for the album cover was shot there. “It was taken
in a village that was destroyed by the earthquake,” Steven relates. “I
am standing on the edge of this village on a river with the rubble and
some of the ruins behind me in the background with my hands in the air
saying ‘God I am going to praise You because You are going to bring
beauty out of these ashes.’”??
Out of these ashes
Beauty will rise?
And we will dance among the ruins?
We will see it with our own eyes?
Out of this darkness ?New light will shine
And we’ll know the joy that’s coming in the morning
…from ”Beauty Will Rise”
One of the most affecting, affirming songs on the record is “SEE.”
In the hours after Maria left to be with Jesus, Steven fervently prayed
for a sign that she was okay, pleading with God just to let him see. “I
remember just saying, ‘We know it is true. We know she is with Jesus.
She is safe in the arms of the God who made her. We know she is okay.
We know it, but could we just see something?’” Steven recalls asking.
“The next morning we went back to our house to get some clothes for the
memorial service. We were not going to stay there and it was really
hard to even go in the house because of the memories. We were walking
through with friends who were holding on to us as we were going from
room to room.”
“I walked into the kitchen and there is this
little art table that Maria and Stevey Joy would sit at for hours. She
loved crafts. She would cut out pictures. Scissors and glue were her
favorite things. She would just cut and paste and draw for hours, and
she often created cards for us. She would write the words she knew, ‘I
love mom’ and ‘I love dad’ and then she would sign her name ‘Maria.’”
“Everything was cleaned up at the table but there was one little piece
of notebook paper lying on her side of the art table. It was a flower,
a six-petal flower that was kind of her signature flower that she would
draw all the time. Only one petal was colored in blue, and the rest of
it was just the outline of the petals. It had a little stem and it had
a little orange center of the flower and it had little leaves at the
bottom of the stem. I had noticed something else kind of bleeding
through the back of the paper where she had written something and I
turned it over and it was a little butterfly and then she had written
the letters S-E-E. She had never written that word before. All that she
had ever written as far as we knew was ‘I love Mom,’ ‘I love Dad’ and
her name. Out of all the words that she could have written that day
before the accident, she had written the word ‘see.’ I was already
weeping uncontrollably and at that moment I just really, really
believed that God gave us that sign and that was the gift that Maria
left us to say ‘I know you are wanting to see something, but see I am
okay and I am where you said. It is okay.’ That flower became so
precious to us. It was my wife that looked at it and realized what we
thought was an unfinished flower, was finished. Only one flower petal
of the six was colored in. Then we realized we have six children there
is only one that is colored in; there is one that is whole and the rest
of us are still waiting for our color. It just became such a gift to
us.”??
It’s everything you said that it would be
And even better than you would believe ?
And I’m counting down the days until you’re here with me
And finally you’ll see?
…from ”SEE”?
Each song on “Beauty Will Rise” represents a part of the Chapman
family’s incredible journey. “February 20th” joyfully chronicles the
day Maria accepted Jesus as her Savior, just a few short months before
she went home to be with Him. “Faithful,” on which Steven’s son Will
Franklin plays drums, is a salute to God’s mercy and faithfulness.
There are songs that express Steven’s pain and loss, yet the overall
tone of the project is gloriously, desperately hopeful. God’s
sovereignty is celebrated in “Our God Is In Control” and “Jesus Will
Meet You There” is a gentle reminder that no matter what the
circumstance, we are never alone in our sorrow. “Spring Is Coming,”
featuring the Children of the World International Children’s Choir,
soars with the expectation of better days to come.
Steven Curtis Chapman has survived every parent’s worst nightmare and
felt pain few could ever imagine. Yet his faith in God remains
undimmed. He knows everything he’s been singing for the past 20 years
is true. Life is indeed a great adventure and when the rubber meets the
road, God is there. So Steven continues to do what he has always done.
He uses the gifts the Lord has given him to remind us we are not alone
on this journey.?
?I will proclaim it to the world ?
I will declare it to my heart
I will sing it when the sun is shining
I will scream it in the dark ? ?
You are faithful, You are faithful?
When You give and when You take away
?Even then still Your name is faithful ?
You are faithful?
…from ”Faithful”